Define It...

The above photo that you've seen in previous posts, I call "What Happens in Luray, Stays in Luray." In it, you see three friends. The fourth friend holds the camera. (HA!) I remember thinking how cool it was that we could just "be." Tonight, I am posting partly to the world and partly to myself as a means of cleansing and catharsis. Webster's defines catharsis as: "The emotional reenactment in thought or symbolic form of a painful experience that brings relief of the distress caused by the original experience." So, yes, this is definitely a "cathartic" post. Forgive me as I weave in and out of my thoughts.
What is FRIENDSHIP? Is it odd that Wayne, Frieda and I have such a thing? Is it odd that three people genuinely hold affection for one another and cherish it, no matter what? There is a huge difference in "friendships" and "acquaintances." I have known true friendship with Frieda Hudson...and have extended the same. My life has been and always will be so much the richer for it. Odd? Perhaps it is in this day and age of people who use, people who do not nurture, people who are "selfish" as opposed to "selfless." Wayne and I have been blessed and enriched by our friendship with Frieda Hudson. Thinking on that, here are some definitions I found on FRIENDSHIP. As I sit here in this late hour (I started writing at 11something and it's now 1:15am) on my porch, I have evaluated many things this evening. One certainty I do have is that I am blessed, so blessed to say that I have a true friend. Wayne is equally blessed to say the same. As he sleeps, many nights, I sit out here alone to think, pray and remember better times, times we shared right here laughing, being serious, just listening to the sounds of the night and drinking coffee. What I wouldn't give for one more night like that. It's the simplest of things that makes these days we pass "a life" instead of just "an existence."
Frieda, I thank you for all the many hours of joy, laughter, tears and friendship we were able to share, in better days. And now, as you fight, just know that in my heart, my friendship is as strong today as it ever was...and there is nothing odd about that. I have watched my husband cry more since July than I have ever seen him cry the entire time I've known him. He suffers the loss, the frustration and his own fears. He used crutches and a wheelchair night after night to be with his friend so she knew we would never forsake her. We set our own circumstances aside to attend to the needs of our friend. As tears roll down my own face and I try to see to type this, I know from a deep and profound place that we are better people for it. I never wanted you to be alone Frieda. I know you know that. To try to "heal" is beyond our realm of possibility. We have never tried to be "healers." That was not our job. At Craven Hospital on Saturday July 28, when Sarah Winfrey, Frieda's sister-in-law, was overcome, hurting and unable to form the words from her mouth that she felt in her heart to pray, I saw what was happening, knelt beside her and prayed both with and for her. I was only acquainted with Sarah, but I could see her fear and hurt. I knew Frieda would have done this for any member of my own family. I remember distinctly acknowledging GOD as "The Divine Healer" in that prayer. As I type this, that firm belief has not and will not change. GOD heals. Physicians and us mere humans are but instruments of His will and He expects us to demonstrate that we are willing to be His Instruments, nothing more. To make sure we were there to support, work with, attend to and cheer Frieda on was the commitment we made...and yes, strong Frieda, those were the same roles you actually assumed for us! You did them beautifully too Frieda. My family continues to honor and thank you even today for "being there for doctor trips, surgeries, vet emergencies, family illnesses and any other event that my family experienced that you were a part of. We love, cherish and were so honored by your commitment to us all. When my dad had brain surgery AND heart surgery, each within a couple of months, you were there. When I had surgery, you were there. When Lucy's (our beagle) liver failed, you were there. When I needed a photographer and you knew I hated being photographed, you were there. And Holidays? Birthdays? Celebrations? Oh how much brighter they have been with you right in the middle of our family, BEING family with us and loving us. When either of us needed ANYTHING, WE EACH WERE THERE FOR EACH OTHER, BY CHOICE. I know you know, Frieda, how much my entire family loves you, thanks you and loves you as a part of "our family." No blood. Just love. No conditions.
Here are a very few of the many wonderful "definitions" of friendship I found this evening. They were a huge source of comfort to me tonight and I will share them with Wayne tomorrow.

*A Definition of Friendship
Friendship is the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring all right out just as they are, chaff and grain together, certain that a faithful friendly hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping and, with a breath of comfort, blow the rest away. Source: A Life for a Life,1859

*"What is a friend? A single soul dwelling in two bodies". - Aristotle
Perhaps the one relation that has survived the trials and tribulations of time and has still remained unconditional is friendship. A unique blend of affection, loyalty, love, respect, trust and loads of fun is perhaps what describes the true meaning of friendship between two individuals. Similar interests, mutual respect and strong attachment with each other are what friends share between each other. These are just the general traits of a friendship. To experience what is friendship, one must have true friends, who are indeed rare treasure.
Different people have different definitions of friendship. For some, it is the trust in an individual that he / she won't hurt you. For others, it is unconditional love. There are some who feel that friendship is companionship. People form definitions based on the kind of experiences they have had. This is one relation that has been nurtured since times immemorial. There are famous stories about friends in mythologies of different religions all over the world. They say a person who has found a faithful friend has found a priceless treasure."

*A British newspaper once offered a prize for the best definition of a friend. There were thousands of entries.
Here are a few:
"One who multiplies joys, divides grief and whose honesty is inviolable."
"One who understands our silence."
"A volume of sympathy bound in cloth."
"A watch that beats true for all time and never runs down."
The winning definition read:
"A friend is the one who comes in when the whole world has gone out."

*A Friend...
(A) ccepts you as you are (B) elieves in you (C) alls you just to say HI (D) oesn't give up on you (E) nvisions the whole of you (even the unfinished parts) (F) orgives your mistakes (G) ives unconditionally (H) elps you (I) nvites you over (J) ust likes to be with you (K) eeps you close at heart (L) oves you for who you are (M) akes a difference in your life (N) ever judges (O) ffers support (P) icks you up (Q) uiets your fears (R) aises your spirits (S) ays nice things about you (T) ells you the truth when you need to hear it (U) nderstands you (V) alues you (W) alks beside you (X) plains things you don't understand (Y) ells when you won't listen and... (Z) aps you back to reality.

And finally a poem I found...it might be elementary in terms of any literary critic, but its simplicity touched me, so I will share it with you.
A TRUE FRIEND
© Ashley Montgomery
"A true friend never walks away
A true will always stay
A true friend looks out for you
A true friend will guard your secrets
Like a precious gift
A true friend is there for you
To give you a helpful lift
A true friend tries to make you smile
Tries to replace that frown
They may not always succeed
But they rarely let you down
These arms for you are open
This heart for you does care
And when I think you need me
I'll try to always be there
I'll listen to your fears
I promise not to laugh
Comfort your falling tears
I'll make this friendship last
I'll keep you near to my heart
I'll always hold you dear
Even when we're miles apart
Even when you're here
I hope I am to you
Everything you are to me
For the friendship we have
Is a special one indeed."

Wayne and I are and will remain "friends" in the truest sense of the word to Frieda...and she has been exactly that to us. Unfounded, yet imposed circumstances may change things, but our hearts will never change as a result of those things we did not choose.
May I please be so bold as to ask you to evaluate your own lives, your own relationships and your own friendships? Please don't take them for granted. You never know when circumstances may change and your friendships "aren't yours" anymore. Life changes so quickly...dynamics come into play that you didn't negotiate and things are never the same.
Is our friendship "odd?" Oh no. Certainly not by the many definitions I have read of "friendship" tonight. Not one bit.
We should all be so lucky as to have one friend in our lives that is TRULY a friend. I miss mine profoundly. I will close with a simple prayer for our dear and precious Frieda, for Wayne and for me.
God, I ask You to bless and keep Frieda safely in Your arms as you give her the comfort and peace she so desires. Never let her forget just how much she has to offer this world. Please show her your infinite wisdom and give her the strength to keep fighting, no matter what humans say the odds are. Give us all, Our Father, the faith to believe that YOUR WILL will be done. Give us the strength to find peace and understanding of Your will, as it unfolds before us. Frieda Hudson is such a blessing to so many. We thank you for Frieda's presence in our lives and in our hearts. Father God, I also ask for Your comfort, love, and peace for Wayne and for me. I offer this prayer in Jesus' name, Amen.








Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do. (Luke 23:34)

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