I have been thinking about several possibilities of topics. There has been a lot going on, so it was hard to pin down any one thing. There has been, however, a resounding denominator in all the topics I considered writing about. We never stop learning, even in the midst of times that seem to be difficult. There is a lesson in most everything that happens to us. The good things, the bad things and all points in between offer us opportunities to inch us ever closer (hopefully) to discovering our own best lives.
I have learned a lot since my last post. I learned that life really is fragile, accidents happen, and nothing is ever the same. On first glance, most of these lessons are frightening, unsettling and can leave us feeling scared and uncertain. On the other hand, these same lessons are empowering. They challenge us to take life to the next level and by God, we grow. We have to grow...there is no other way of getting around it.
My husband, Wayne was in a bizarre, completely unexpected accident. It is very serious and without going into all the gory details, my TYPE A posterboy husband is now incapacitated for many months ahead. He will have surgery on Tuesday to repair a complete avulsion of his hamstrings. (In English, he tore the hamstring tendons from the bone and they must be surgically reattachd.) Of course, Mr. TYPE A had to unload ALL the framing materials for our new home, come down the ladder, drive himself home, THEN take a shower before we could go to the hospital. Nuts? I'll say so, but I'm used to how he ticks. Then to add insult to injury (this is the scary part), when we got home from the hospital, Wayne collapsed and stopped breathing. I had never seen anyone like that, I have never had to call for an ambulance and I didn't know if my husband was still alive. I was horrified. But, we do what we need to in order to move forward in any situation. The most odd thing happened during the 911 call. I became aware of seeing other 911 calls on TV. I thought about how frightened and hysterical some callers seemed, and understandably so. How do you have time to consider these things in the midst of an emergency call? I have no clue, but as calmly as I could, I told the operator I needed an ambulance and our address. I answered her questions and continued trying to get Wayne back. He came around and our friend Frieda, who was on her way to help out anyway, waited for the ambulance at the top of the drive. It all took place very fast, yet there were moments that seemed as though they were moving in slow motion. In a couple of hours, things leveled off, yet Wayne and I knew that everything had changed in a blink. One wrong step. One unfortunate accident. One incident changed everything we knew "life" to be just 60 seconds before Wayne's fall.
This week, Wayne and I have adjusted to a lot. Wayne has done remarkably well. I know how hard it must be for him to both ask me for help and then expect me to do the task in the way he would do it. Patience has been the "word of the day" every day. We're at the close of Day 8 and we have a long way to go.
We have had so many wonderful emails, visitors, calls, cards and other means of support. Those things mean so much and also carry more lessons for us to learn.
Learning all these lessons has taken a seemingly bad situation and made it a means of moving forward. Doors close, others open. What seems to be an "OH MY GOD WHAT WILL WE DO" situation becomes an "OK, WE'LL JUST HAVE TO REGROUP" situation. Though he loves his work, Wayne had been heard saying of late that he wanted to slow down and not work so hard and so much. He wanted to do things at home, he wanted to re-vamp his business and allow others to absorb some of what he does. He now has that opportunity. He didn't plan for the opportunity. Had he waited to plan for it, I am confident those things he wanted would not have occurred. He's just not built that way. His work defines him and he is quite comfortable in the role he has. But, in a flash, Wayne has been afforded to try another route, slow down a lot, be at home more. ALL the things he has been speaking about lately that "he wanted to do someday" are indeed going to happen. "Someday" is here. "Someday" is NOW.
There are bookshelves full of books, dvds to watch, journals to write, and time available to reflect. There are wounds to heal, a body that will continue to need rest and recovery to be accomplished. The one thing I know beyond all else at this point is that you never stop learning. The "life degree" is one that is never completed.
And all of our "classmates" enrich our learning experience all the more and make this journey a beautiful one...even in the most unsteady of times.
Thank you all for your thoughts, prayers and support. Wayne thanks you as well.
I am committed to understanding and sharing all we learn through Wayne's surgery and rehabilitation. We both believe that the events of "life" are not in vain. I once knew a woman who often quoted, "God sees the beginning, the middle and the end of the parade...all at once."
Our parade just got started and I do not have the gift of vision to know exactly what is ahead of us. I only know everything will be just fine. It always is.
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