(Two of my favorite people in one of my favorite pictures.)
I haven't posted for a while about Frieda, so I felt it was time to give an update for those who check periodically. She's still going strong and gets more amazing with each day that passes. God must be smiling like nobody's business! I know I do!
The past several visits with Frieda have been so wonderful. She's doing such great things. It troubles me when I hear the rumor mill grinding away with all sorts of adjectives that simply are not true. Of course, Frieda...and consequently Wayne and I have dealt with that for quite some time now. Oddly enough, with Frieda being THE backbone of the Pamlico News, "bad news" is all that seems to travel. No one wants to hear good news. But everyone's favorite news hound is doing exactly what I expected her to. She's busting butt and taking no prisoners! GO FRIEDA!
Frieda is doing amazing things and she is so very proud of herself. She is able to drive herself in the facility with the aid of an electric wheelchair. She's a sight to behold wheeling up and down the hallway. She has been reading and spelling for some time now, so she can spell out most anything she'd like to "say" to you. For example, we call my dad "Grog" and call him a caveman when teasing him. When he walked into her room Thursday evening, Frieda started to grin this evil grin and spelled out GROG and laughed right out loud. I asked her to spell my mom's name. Frieda looked at my mom and smiled...she wanted to spell what SHE felt about my mother. "Sweetness" was the result. I can't tell you what she spelled for me. Just take my word for it, the whole room was in stitches. The speech therapist has a great sense of humor and believes fully that laughter is indeed good medicine. He says Frieda relaxes and gets a lot done when we're having a lot of fun. So, as always we do laugh a lot when visiting. The visits this week were long, we worked hard on spelling and communication skills and being close.
Frieda gets emotional when she remembers "what it's like on the outside." That in itself is very motivating for her.
I am so proud of her and want to thank everyone who has continued to check in on my blog and believe that Frieda could get better. She has.
Each day gets better and better...and I LOVE IT! We are still "THUMBS UP" all the way! Even back at Pitt Hospital, Frieda gave me a "THUMBS UP" when I asked her if we were going to stick this out together. Today, it is just as strong a commitment as it was back in the summer. People give up hope so quickly. Underestimating Frieda is a crazy thing to do! But, on the other hand, it gives her strength just to prove the naysayers wrong. Typical of Frieda, right? Something else I love about her.
I watched with sadness as the news told of a situation where a young girl is being called "brain dead," "a vegetable" and many of the horrible adjectives that I have heard used along side Frieda's name. It boiled my blood then and it does now. I watched as a father is begging and pleading with a mother to let the daughter live. The girl doesn't speak and is on a feeding tube. Guess what? SO IS FRIEDA! But is she any of the horrible adjectives that people who are either ignorant or unfeeling or both use? NO! The name Terry Schiavo comes to mind. There are those who would argue that abortion is "murder." I think taking a life of any kind is boils down to murder. As humans, we do not have the right to "euthanize." We do not have the right to "play God" and determine what is "life" for another human being period. That is God's job. How can he fulfill HIs Divine Plan for us if we are busy trying to do His job for Him? Notions such as that are just outrageous to me. It's hard to even consider it for animals within my personality. But, that's me.
The world at large has a skewed vision of what human life is. "Quality" of life comes into question and people try to make decisions that are not theirs to make.
I thank GOD every single day for Frieda Hudson and for her SPIRIT and her sheer will to LIVE! She and I have plans and as I have said all along, we don't go down easily. We just keep working hard. I don't blog every day about Frieda because I got tired of the backlash. Folks who haven't even visited with Frieda or really don't know her at all at a personal level were offering opinions that I didn't ask for, so I removed myself from the drama. My friendship with Frieda Hudson doesn't contain all that drama and gossip. So, we have continued to do what we do best. WORK HARD, LAUGH A LOT and WORK TOWARD THE ONE GOAL OF GETTING FRIEDA BETTER!
I am so thankful she didn't give up. There was every opportunity to do so, but those of us who know Frieda fundamentally know that giving up is simply not a part of her personality. That is what I love most about her. She's still cracking jokes at me just as hard as she can, laughing at me and in the next minute, we're holding hands tightly, along with Wayne assuring each other that we're just going to keep fighting hard and moving ahead.
There are few friendships in life that sustain hardship, serious illness, issues and many of the things that Frieda and I have witnessed. She is my hero. You give me such strength and such confidence, Frieda, when my own life seems so hard at times. I can simply think of you and things look so much better.
Frieda, one day when you read through all these blogs, I want you to know that YOU have touched SO many lives that come from ALL over this country! People have read this blog, prayed for you, loved you and have cheered you on every day! Frieda, our friends who live in other parts of the country are cheering, praying and celebrating each and every little thing you do! We have every expectation for you to be right back in the middle of our "crowd" in no time flat! From Colorado, to California, to New York, Washington, DC, Wisconsin, Ohio...just pick a state! All our music friends, friends that have come on board since reading about this crazy word called "stroke" and blog readers in general have offered such support and love. It truly is amazing!
So, even in illness, there is such goodness and God NEVER leaves us. Faith grows each and every day in so many ways. I've said all along that God still has big plans for Frieda Hudson. Who knows what she'll be doing next? I can't wait to find out! God willing, I'll be right beside her watching it all unfold.
Just keep praying....and don't forget to give thanks for those prayers that clearly have been answered.

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(This photo is one I titled "What happens in Luray, stays in Luray." The unintended theme of this trip was the incessantly asked question, "Is Anna Nicole still dead?" Her death was announced upon our return home from visiting Luray Caverns, so we wondered that question aloud for the remainder of the weekend. And we didn't even feel one bit badly about it!)
It has been a couple of days since I have posted and I didn't want folks to start worrying. Things are basically the same with Frieda. She is stable and comfortable. During the day she sleeps a lot and in talking to folks at the hospital, that is a good thing. When she's resting, her body is working on healing itself.
Of course, Friday's seem to roll around quickly anymore...and I still am not fond of them. I met a lady today at the newspaper office who plays twilight golf with Frieda and Wayne. It made me a little sad because they both enjoyed "their outing" so much each Friday. I always liked it a lot because I had some time on my own, I didn't have to cook and when they came home, we set about enjoying the rest of the evening! Frieda and Wayne, in turn, were able to play golf, have each other all to themselves and get a great dinner on top of that, so they were happy campers. When Wayne's accident occurred, I remember Frieda being bummed and giving Wayne guff for ditching out on her as her golf partner. However, the lady I met today told me that Frieda had played with her family when Wayne went out of commission.
Frieda never makes a fuss over birthdays. I had asked her earlier in the summer "what she wanted to do for her birthday" so that we could start some big plans. It was totally out of character for her because she usually shrugs off those types of questions. This time, however, she was ready with an answer. She wanted to go to Pinehurst and play the Tobacco Road golf course. I told her it was a done deal. We'd line it all up and that would be her birthday present from us. We daydreamed about what the course would be like, etc. A friend of ours in Raleigh has played it and says it's awesome, so Wayne was pretty excited as well. (He was excited to get the benefits of Frieda's birthday!) Given the circumstances of his injury, we still planned to go and if he wasn't able to actually play, we could ride a cart and get a partner for Frieda. As I understand it, it sounds like part golf course and part amusement park...only a VERY difficult and expensive amusement park! I was even looking forward to it. I have always enjoyed golf, but get just as much pleasure from a bucket of balls and/or putting. It's the middle game I don't get all excited about! Although I must admit, since I bought my Wii (no, I'm not a "gamer" but my GOSH those Wii's are some kind of fun!) I have found that my living room golf game has gotten to be quite good.
When I bought the Wii off a broke college student (and no I don't feel guilty! I'm sure he has another, having gotten his trust payment by now!), Frieda and I bowled, played tennis, golf, FISHED...you name it, we played it...all within the comforts of my humble home. WHAT A TRIP! You're actually going through the motions, so I'm sure if an outsider peeked into the door, they'd have thought we were nuts! But we have had great times with the Wii! Not to be "gamers," we were hooked!
I guess by now, you've figured that Friday nights are kind of reflective blogs. It's "sort of" Saturday by now, but since I haven't ended my day, it's still Friday night to me.
Weekends are the most difficult times with things as they are now. It's kind of a no man's land....sort of a feeling of limbo.
It's also a good thing though because I reflect on good times, laughter, crazy things we've gotten into and remembering those things makes me smile. As I think these wonderful thoughts, I direct them right to Frieda. This helps tremendously when I start to feel down or just plain lonesome. I hope the positive energy of great thoughts are reaching her loud and clear.
Lots of our porch talks include politics, computer stuff, what the animals were doing or what they shouldn't be doing! We talked about plans we were making, what places we wanted to go. Tangier Island, Virginia was one place. Visiting our friends Joan and George was another. Frieda always commented how many years it has been since she had taken ANY vacation time until we started trying to get in some weekend jaunts. She went with us to all my performances and that always made the trip a lot more fun. Anywhere we could find good calamari always makes for something to look forward to on any trip!
One funny memory was our return trip home from Luray, Virginia. We saw a flea market and of course, we all squealed like piggies and turned around to go back! After all it was TWO WHOLE BUILDINGS OF NOTHING BUT JUNK!!! Who could pass that up!? Well, we go inside building one and started our trek. All the nice folks were talking to each other, but about half way through the first building, Frieda made the comment that they were all staring at us. I guess we had that "you're not from around here, are ya" look. We walked a while more and found SHARPIE PENS IN ALL COLORS...about 12 per pack! FOR A DOLLAR!!! Oh yeah! We scooped those up. (Later we laughed when we realized about half of them were dried out!). Anyway, as we're shopping and snooping along, and noticing the folks were still staring at us, (Anne, Frieda and Wayne giggling), FRIEDA announces that we were at "THE HILLS HAVE EYES FLEA MARKET!" We howled with laughter and then those people were REALLY looking at us. We had to leave and go to the next building. I think we only spent a couple of dollars. Nowadays, that trip home memory wouldn't be complete without telling every detail of THE HILLS HAVE EYES flea market. Nobody loves a yard sale or a flea market better than Frieda..or me..or Wayne. We call them "rag pullin's! Each time we see one on the side of the road, you could bet your last dime, SOMEONE in the car bellows loudly RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAG PULLIN'! Even if we don't stop, it just has to be yelled.
Those are good memories and as I type tonight, I am sending those thoughts of happier times to my dear Frieda. With all my heart, I want to take her to Tobacco Road, another yard sale, another flea market and many other things. Books-A-Million reading/coffee trips, movie night, Wayne's cooking just for us, and all those trips we haven't gotten to yet will wait for us. I just have to get through these doggoned weekends without her for now.
I miss you my friend Frieda. Without that wonderful laugh and genuine smile, things just aren't the same. But I'm a patient woman and I'll be waiting for the good times to come and in the mean time working my butt off to get you better.
I've said this before and I find it odd. Frieda has been in the hospital all this time...yet, even now, I get so much strength and courage to face all the things in my own life, just by knowing that I have a true and honest friend in Frieda Hudson.
Keep moving ahead Frieda. We have so much to do yet...so, so many wonderful things are waiting for us to do. Or, we'll just sit on the porch and do nothing, my friend. To quote our precious friend Jodie Devera, "It's all good." And it is.

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I haven't posted in a couple of days, because things have remained basically the same in terms of Frieda's stability, etc. We had been waiting for word that the ventilator would be removed, but for several reasons, it simply has not been "time." We learned earlier today that at some point this evening, Frieda would be recieving a tracheotomy. This will give Frieda's throat and airway time to heal properly from having been intubated for as long as she has.
So, for the past couple of days, Frieda has rested and slept quietly.
At this point, Nancy, Marah and I are in the waiting room waiting for the call that Frieda will go into surgery. The procedure should last about 30 minutes and we know she will be much more comfortable.
This will be a continued post, so it will be in segments.
---At 7pm, Frieda went into surgery for a tracheotomy. We are waiting to get word that she has come through everything ok. I am guessing she will be moved back into her room after a short period in recovery, etc.
---It's now 12:07 am and we're back at home. Frieda came through the surgery nicely and was resting and breathing COMFORTABLY when we left. She was asleep and well she should be. It's been a tough haul as we all know. Young Nancy, Wayne, Marah and I stayed while the procedure took place and spent time with Frieda after she was returned to her room.
Her face was a bit red, but after a bit of wondering, I determined that I hadn't seen her face in its entirety since the stroke happened. There had been lots of tape, etc. covering the ventilator, so I'm sure the redness is nothing more than irritation.
I feel that the tracheotomy is a step in the right direction. At least her mouth is now pretty much free. There is one suction line, but that is it.
Frieda looked peaceful and comfortable. She was breathing deeper than I have seen her breathe through this whole event. That was a good sight. There is something about "peaceful breathing" that puts the mind at ease.
Young Nancy was told earlier in the day that this procedure would actually expedite the process to move to a step down unit, or intermediate care. At that point, rehabilitation can begin, which will be a welcome sight.
Frieda has had excellent care and it shows. For that, I am so thankful. One nurse, in fact, has been with Frieda basically since she got to Pitt. Even when she has been taking care of other patients, she has yet to fail to come and check on Frieda, find some of us folks waiting there and let us know she's keeping an eye out. Young Nancy's friend, Danielle, also an ICU nurse at Pitt, has been a wealth of support, comfort and information. She has been someone we could all call on to explain things, give information on how care is given for Frieda's condition, etc. Danielle is both a caring friend and someone who knows exactly what should be expected and she is excellent at what she does. That in itself has been so wonderful to have at our fingertips. We don't have to question anything, for very long at least.
I was thinking as I was driving back from Greenville this evening that any time a catastrophic event happens, first comes the shock, then the word travelling about, and next, the initial and wonderful outreach of support and prayers, At some point, I know that lives are busy and they fall back into the routine of things. Basically we all crave what we know to be "normal." Given that, I know that this is a long road back for Frieda. It's a very do-able road, but a long road, nonetheless. I feel it is important to ask for continued prayers and emotional support for Frieda and her family as they all transition in the the varied phases of her healing process.
I do not feel that personal visits are in order at this time. There will be plenty of time for that. For now, Frieda and her family need your prayers and your support in other ways. I know how grateful each and every member of Frieda's family is. They have been so touched and so deeply appreciative of every card, every call, and every means of outreach during this time of uncertainty, illness and simply having all their worlds turned upside down. I hope as Frieda progresses and is able that this won't be "old news" and that those who wish to visit now will have the same wish to visit when the time is right. As we all know, as outgoing as Frieda is, she is equally as fiercely private. She takes life on her terms and accepts no less than that. My wish is that she be given that same dignity as she recovers as we all were giving her two weeks ago. Please know that every note, every and every post card is hanging as I type this, in Frieda's room. Because there has been such support in that area, Young Nancy bought a cork board this evening because all the wall space is filled!!! Young Nancy says that while no one is "expecting" flowers, etc. once Frieda is moved to intermediate care, she can receive them. Nancy also wanted me to let you know that in lieu of personal visits for now, please help us by filling Frieda's room with anything that you would like her to see. Pictures, cards, flowers, letters and the like will be wonderful things to surround her with. I know Frieda will love that.
I'll be back at the hospital first thing tomorrow and will post again with how things are going.
I would love to thank everyone personally for all the emails that have come to me. I have tried to answer each and every one personally. If I missed one somewhere along the way, please accept my apologies. Don't hesitate to email me with any questions and comments you wish to convey to the family. I'm happy to pass them along.
I am learning so many lessons. Strokes or any other catastrophic illness does not affect simply the person affected. It affects every facet and every aspect of anyone connected to that person. I have seen so much love, healing, connection, forgiveness, kindness and strength. Of all those things, Frieda will be so very, very proud. You can email me directly at: annehaley@hughes. net.
Comments are so welcome here on the blog. I am keeping everything. I feel in my heart there will be plenty of time for Frieda to see this outpouring for herself when she sees all that several of us are keeping documenting for her.
Keep praying. Keep loving. Keep supporting.
As always, I appreciate each reader for visiting my blog. It has meant so much to me to be able to share with you these events as I have watched them unfold. My very best to you all!! And I'll see you tomorrow!

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