There's a Chill in the Air...

I have enjoyed this weekend...I absolutely love "the fall of the year." I hadn't given that term an awful lot of thought all my life, but I realize that indeed this time of year is the FALL of the year. It's ending, winding down, coming to a close. Hard to believe.
I love the colors of autumn, the smell, the crisp feeling in the air...hay bales, pumpkins, you name it...if it has to do with anything "autumnal," I love it.
I've felt a little strange this weekend. I love opening windows, the fresh breeze and those things, but I've felt a tinge of guilt over the past couple of days. We are changing seasons. I am having a bit of difficulty changing seasons without Frieda in tow. We entered the year together, then spring, then summer and now...she's still in the hospital and I'm on my own with this one.
I know that sounds silly. Believe me, I am perfectly aware of how it sounds. But, I do try to convey honest feelings, raw emotion and how lives have been affected or it wouldn't be a particularly honest blog. While updates, goings on at the hospital, etc. are important...very important, I feel that if I am going to discuss all of this, it must be as a whole. The whole picture comes with all the thoughts and feelings that go on outside the hospital room as well as in it.
Last fall, we took off for a weekend in Asheville. We stopped back by the wonderful HUGE farmers market in Greensboro on the way home. We bought all kinds of stuff...mums, pumpkins, fall vegetables and the like. We had a blast and stayed for a long time snooping, shopping and relaxing. I remember when that particular farmer's market was built, so I knew my way around surprisingly well. Of course, there had to be silliness involved. You know the wooden things with pictures painted on the front and you stick your head though the holes to "look like" something else? Yeah? Well, we did that too. It's almost like being hung in the stocks! Maturity is the very basis of everything that Frieda and I do. (course you're buying that, right?)
I worked with my foals this weekend. They are now 5 and 6 months old respectively. It sure makes me feel odd typing that. They were weeks old when we made the trip to pick them up. The younger of the two is now the larger of the two! She was about 3 weeks old when we brought her home.
These are the times that are most difficult. I'm going along with this change of seasons. It is my favorite time of year...well, until December gets here! But, I'm not happy about it. I'd rather have my pal home, safe, sound and healthy. I'd rather have called her today and told her how great the foals did with their halters or better yet, have her out here handling them with me.
I'd rather have lots of things different. But they're not.
There is a prayer that has become well worn for me over these past two months. I guess I recite that prayer a hundred times each day while coming to terms with all the dynamics of a catastrophic illness. "Accepting the things I cannot change" and
having the wisdom to know the difference was difficult today. Some days it's easier to know what I can and can't do anything about. Today wasn't one of them. When there are new and interesting things going on, seems second nature to have Frieda around or making a call to her to say HEY! GUESS WHAT???? When those urges happen, I pray. So, I'm praying a lot.
I have a lot of pictures to post of the sights and colors of fall...right here in North Carolina. You can go to my Zimbio link that's here on the blog to check them out and I'll try to get a few posted on this site as well. (I'll make sure to dig out that photo of Frieda, Wayne and me in "the stocks!" Those are particularly flattering. Well, sort of flattering in a humorous sort of way.
Yes, there is a chill in the air...literally and in my heart. Keep improving Frieda. We've got so much to do yet.

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