A lot of times I write about the complications that we face and endure in our "every day lives." We deal with so many things that we must deal with, we take on so many things that we are better served to "JUST SAY NO" to. We want very much to be right there for all of our family and all of our friends.
I must say I am blessed with such an amazing abundance of both.
Perspective comes from the craziest places.
As you may know, my best buddy and canine companion aka FURRY SON of 12 years, Geordie has been battling cancer for a while now. It hit my life like a freight train when the illness started to make itself known.
I was scared...well more like terrified and freaked out completely. I felt things I've never felt nor have since been able to find words for. I was also selfish. I did NOT want to DEAL with his surgery, his illness or anything related. Don't get me wrong! It was this simple: I didn't want our "LIFE" infected with this insidious disease! It was WRONG! NOT GEORDIE! Not "MY GEORDIE!" Once I realized crying was helping no one, especially Geordie, who is a FIXER, I realized I had to learn a few lessons...FAST.
The first lesson, and perhaps most difficult lesson I have learned is that it IS not a sin to ask for help. I learned to let my friend Heather HELP me when it was evident that I needed it. Sometimes, I was just clearly exhausted. I might have been doing something like sitting up in the night, just rubbing Geordie and talking to him when he was first diagnosed. I didn't want him to hurt, be scared or any of those things, yet it was completely out of my control. I don't do well with "out of control." *Note: if there is SOMEONE ELSE in need, I AM YOUR GIRL! That's the hypocrite in me! I'll do anything for anyone, but it's SO hard for me to ASK someone for help.
I am notorious for WITHDRAWING from things when I am at a loss. I tend to "go into my cave" and try to work things out in my head. So, the next lesson learned was that I had to MAKE myself TALK to others. Yes, he's just a dog, but he's MY DOG! He was given a grim diagnosis and I had no where to place it. I had to learn to at least attempt to let my family and friends be there with me and for me. A few weeks back, Marah had had enough of her mother being a cave dweller. She and Kevin drove home and (wow, she's an adult now!) she said,"Mom, I just had to come and see for myself that you're alright." That's MY daughter. She is amazing. She knew I wouldn't ask her to come and just "be with me."
I learned to pick up the phone and call my friend Flavel and talk about everything and nothing and eventually get around to "I'm scared Flav." You see, Flavel had been through cancer with a grim diagnosis with her beloved cat "M." She was always SO strong, but now I realize that maybe, just maybe, she was being a lot like me. Keeping the poker face on and feeling scared out of her wits. "M" has done AMAZINGLY well, underwent a very invasive surgery and continues to thrive and is a happy boy. I had that to look toward and focus on as well as Flavel reminding me that it was OK to feel everything I was feeling.
Another lesson? Keeping positive, even when hit with hard "medical facts" is absolutely the hardest thing I have ever done.
It's strange, when you find your life and something you love very much faced with the word "CANCER," everything changes. Seconds of the day become more precious. I found myself getting into bed, then getting right back up for one more hug and one more "I love you Geordie."
You find yourself peering into the eyes of a dog and telling him EVERY single thing that you love about him...and receiving that incredible look that only a dog can give that says, "I know."
I have learned that the future is NOW. Right now. Even as I type this at 4:53 am, I have to force myself to live very much like my Geordie, in the present.
I see clearly how dogs can be so forgiving. They don't live in yesterday. They make NO plans for tomorrow. They live in the "now." And they are HAPPY! They carry no guilt, no shame, no what-if's, no regrets. Those are human actions and emotions that we in fact, carry around with great pride sometimes. (Much to our own detriment.)
I have learned that I never KNEW I had so many friends! Of course, I "knew" I had a lot of friends that I have been so blessed with. They are the ones who have "served time" with Annie learning how I think I can do EVERYTHING myself and I would rather have a root canal than to say the words "I need help." Fortunately, I have very bright and observant friends who know me well enough to just say, "Get out of the way of yourself! I'm helping you." Those measures of "help" have come in SO many ways. Emails, phone calls, cards in the mail, gifts for Geordie, and the "HEY! Just checking on you" contacts that remind me not to go inward and to ALLOW my friends to love me. Then there is the ever popular "SHOWING UP" as our amazing neighbor Kim does... knowing full well if he called and asked he'd be met with, "Oh no! Don't go to any trouble! I'm FIIIIIINE!" Yeah right. I must be a pain a pill won't reach at times!
You see, Geordie DEPENDS on me, as do all of my other animals. He never has to wonder if I am going to feed him, if I am going to be able to determine "which bark" means he wants crushed ice or that he needs to go outside. He depends on me to observe
his behavior and help him when he needs it. It's funny. He NEVER minds asking me for help when he needs it.
How does that correlate here? How many times have my friends OBSERVED me and knew there was a need and as a HUMAN, I smiled and said, "I'm fine" knowing full well I wasn't fine and there was nothing FINE even remotely close to how I might have been feeling.
I am sorry for that, but again, I'm learning these things.
It has taken the serious illness of my beloved Geordie to teach me how to be a better person and friend. I've often said it "takes a friend to be a friend." I have friends like Martha Myers who are BUILT WITH TENACITY! She knows my ways and she's one who will shake me up when needed from time to time REMINDING ME that I'm not alone in this. Her gentle reminders are sometimes more like HORNS BLASTING to say, "HEY! I'm right here. Don't forget that! LET ME HELP YOU!" And I begrudgingly take my proverbial medicine from her and we laugh.
Today, when Heather and I returned from the North Carolina State University Veterinary Teaching Hospital, I was a zombie. Heather was completely wiped out as well. It had been a LONG and uncertain day. She had said she thought she'd need a cup of coffee to boost her home. I set about making our coffee. When I finished, I looked out the back door and there was our Heather...purple feed bucket in hand, feeding the goats, donkeys, dogs, etc. She was filling water troughs, and you know, she had the biggest smile on her face. She was doing MY CHORES and smiling about it.
Being "ANNIE,"I opened the door and yelled,"HEY! What are you doing? I CAN GET THAT!" (Because I can do everything in the world and then some in 30 minutes flat!) She ignored me and kept smiling and feeding. I think her only comment was "I've got it."
These are called "Blessings." They comfort. They give you a moment's reprieve when you LEAST expect it...and perhaps most importantly, it gives another human being the opportunity to be there for someone they love and care about.
I think of the times I was busy and Geordie walked up and nudged my hand and was met with "Just a minute boy, I'm busy." Geordie is persistent. He ALWAYS nudges again and again until I stop (sometimes with frustration) and ALLOW HIM TO LOVE ME. You see, those nudges are not intrusions at all! My Geordie came to say in his way "Thanks, I love you, I'm thinking of you, I appreciate you" or whatever else made HIM stop what he was doing to come find me and give me that familiar nudge.
Do I stop what I'm doing now for him? You bet I do. As I said earlier, hearing the word CANCER changes your life forever. I relish and welcome those blessed nudges now and EVERYTHING stops while Geordie says what he needs to to me with his eyes, his snuggles and his heart and his nose.
Seconds in this life are precious. Many times we do not get the second chance to do things correctly. We have to slow down and think like a dog...live in the moment. Make our choices and decisions as though we will never have that opportunity again, as we truly may not get the opportunity to set things straight.
Geordie has taught me to say what I feel, to let others know how I feel about them, to live in THIS moment and not put off the love that I can easily share RIGHT NOW.
I have concluded that to accept the love and help of others is NOT a sign of weakness! It is TRULY a sign of strength and courage beyond measure. It is a sign of TRUST to be able to put yourself right out there and allow yourself to "be loved"...just like a dog.
I have learned that "THE PRESENT" IS A PRESENT, A GIFT! Not something to get to tomorrow, to "save until it's the right time" or any other means of procrastinating.
This moment as I type this is the present. It's my present. I thank God for the opportunity to be here, right now, with everything that is going on my life---knowing I am so completely surrounded by LOVE of friends, of family, of even perfect strangers who have reached out and said, "I CARE."
I thank each and every one of you for being with Geordie and me through this trial. Your strength and love have helped more than you could ever know.
Today is a gift. Unwrap it with reckless abandon and LIVE IT!
BE A DOG FOR A DAY! Just LIVE IT! You just might find there's a lesson or two in there for you as well.
Thanks to all of you who love me and who love Geordie.
WE LOVE YOU SO MUCH!
Till next time,
Annie...and her greatest teacher, Geordie...who also taught me that mistakes are OK too!
Since it's now 5:52am, I'm not even going to proof read this post! Talk about living on the edge! WOW! (You see, I was DOING other things while writing this...feeding the cats, making coffee and checking on my number one buddy!) You can't proof read life, ahhh...if it were only that simple!

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I'm sure that everyone using Facebook can relate to this post...I was thinking this evening about how great it has been to reconnect with old friends via Facebook. For me, it's be such a joy.
I'm not one of those folks who fills up my friends list with names. Every single person is someone I know and care deeply about. I have re-connected with old friends that never ever left my heart, no matter how many years, how many miles and how much time had passed. So, I have to say that Facebook is a gift and a blessing for me.
Today, I had a phone call from an old friend that I have always adored. Over the years, I wondered about her, hoped she was well and happy and recalled such great memories that we shared.
When the phone rang today, a voice said, "Do you know who this is?" By the time she got to the word 'know,' I was saying, "Of course I do!" We talked just like we had never missed a beat. The years and the miles vanished and it was beautiful.
There are other friends that I've spent a lot of my younger years with that I have reconnected with on Facebook. I can see their (nearly grown now!) children, learn about their interests and catch up at my own pace and without the rush of life hurrying me along.
I don't know about all of you, but for me, it's just amazing.
The most beautiful part is that all my friends both old and new are willing to share their lives with me as well. I appreciate the time you take in doing so Friends.
In this day and time, 'friends' in the REAL sense of the word are a rare commodity. Seeing you all in this format reminds me of all that you mean to me, how much I love you all and just how truly rich my life has been and continues to be.
Thank you for being on the journey with me. I'm thrilled to be a part of each of your lives.
Till next time,
Annie

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I received a comment tonight on a recent post of March 9th. I have made no blog comment since that time regarding the ramifications of taking Frieda Hudson on an outing as friends. I have learned that "control" is such a frightening word. I have learned that people can be so wrapped up in themselves that they are not truly looking at doing the right thing. Frieda has asked for her competency to be restored. Her family is opposing that choice, and all of this resulted in her family banning Wayne and me from any further visits on March 11 2008, with a public demonstration just outside Frieda's door by the facility director. It was devastating to Wayne and me, but the biggest hurt was to Frieda, who we had to leave screaming and crying and her hands held up in a "WHY?" position. FRIEDA was devastated. Who cared about that? Was it more important to save public face than to care that Frieda has survived a living hell since July and had a great day out with HER friends? But, the ban remains and Frieda took matters into her own hands. Now, we pay a price, but most importantly, FRIEDA HUDSON pays the highest price of all...her dignity as a human being. She was completely safe, she was happy and she was in incredible spirits on March 9th, 2008. It's a sad day when 45 and 52 year old women cannot visit and have a long awaited outing without family politics. To use control of a human being under the guises of "guardianship" and forcibly separating two friends is reprehensible. I don't want to know, need to know or care to know family politics. Those matters are not my concern, although they were thrown at my family quite liberally, by all the family members. Who, by the way, now state 'how private' they wish to be. It makes no sense and never will. I wanted to HELP FRIEDA. Just Frieda. And now, I will state publicly, that it has been a battle of some sort every step of the way, finally leading up to "the banning of our visits" to Frieda at Ridgewood Manor, where she currently resides. I was called at my home on March 10th, after Frieda's family obviously read my joyful blog posting. "They" wanted to be "the first" to carry Frieda out, I was told in a hurtful phone call in which the caller didn't show one ounce of gratitude. I am not posting to point any finger, nor will I reduce myself to naming names. We all have choices. Well, everyone except Frieda Hudson, right now. Frieda has been able to leave the facility since early January and even the staff there, as I said in my March 9th post, was so supportive because someone was finally taking Frieda out into fresh air and sunshine. I cannot speak for the priorities of others, but I can say from January to March is quite a long time not to have taken Frieda out on any one of those days and not one family member elected to do that. Since January, were they ALL that busy? Even staff members wondered aloud to us on many occasions when Frieda was going to "get to go somewhere." We grew so weary and sad as Frieda would cry when we visited with my parents and others. She KNEW she could leave and she WANTED go somewhere, ANYWHERE! Wouldn't you after all these months of what she has been through? Excuses can be made, but the bottom line is that no one did it. Wayne and I have suffered a severe consequence as a result of "doing the right thing." March 9, 2008 felt so normal. It was such fun. But, there was no gratitude. I was spoken to harshly and then promptly banned by Frieda's family members. The reasons have been varied. We were told at first that we "broke policy." Then we were told that we actually did NOT break policy, but the family requested it. That would be my choice of "the reasons." How very, very sad for Frieda. She is not a child.
Since Frieda's first stroke, Wayne and I have given our time, our money, our love and our support to Frieda and to her family as well. I made a vow to Frieda to care for her children as my own and we made ourselves available to them in any way possible. They had access to us 24 hours a day. This offer was extended to Frieda's extended family, as they needed to talk or needed ANYTHING from us. We were THERE for the Winfrey family. I rest easily in that knowledge.
We were there when varied factions of the family dynamic were in turmoil and we wanted to simply help our friend and stay out of the line of fire. We spent hours of time on the phone with various family members who were vehemently against one another and tried our best to keep the focus on FRIEDA. Now, it appears that things are imploding and it is so sad to see. There is no purpose in it, nor one ounce of "good" that can come from it. So we do pray for everyone involved. It's stunning and heartbreaking to see what we have seen. We have been banned from seeing our dear friend for doing something "normal." Public appearance has clearly taken priority over love, caring, gratitude and human dignity.
I will not now or ever apologize for such a wonderful day in the friendship of myself and Frieda Hudson. We had permission from her "primary guardian." Our friendship had never had restrictions and that was an assurance made to me by that guardian. We DID wait and wait, politely, hoping that soon someone would take Frieda someplace. Our friendship has been and will always be a treasure and a gift that no human can take from us. It is reciprocal, loving and genuine.
Frieda's strokes devastated us, as well as many others. I gave every bit of time and resources that I had to help by comforting family, comforting Frieda and praying for her improvement. She improved, she had another stroke and she has continued to improve from that. Where is the joy? Where is the gratitude? Is saving face publicly more important that appreciating the good that someone does?
I have mostly ignored the "rumor mill." Of late, however, Frieda has had more visitors. Folks decided to go see for themselves...and I am so glad they finally did. Frieda has needed to SEE her friends, as I have maintained all along. I have actually had people tell me via telephone, emails and in person that they thought I was LYING about Frieda's improvements based on what they had heard and now having actually seen her, they felt badly for having disbelieved what I posted. I have told the exact truth since I was asked by the family if I would use my blog to let people know Frieda's condition since the first stroke. To those of you who have seen for yourselves... while Frieda may be limited in her mobility, she IS competent and able to state her own mind. I am so thankful you have seen it for yourselves. To those of you who have apologized for doubting what I have posted or called me a liar, it's no problem. When you hear things from sources who should be rejoicing and the reports are bleak, I can't say that I wouldn't have doubted "me" either. I hold no ill will nor malice. I am not "that way" as a person. Forgiveness is one of my strong suits.
Now, I ask for prayer again for Frieda. She has asked for her competency to be restored and it is being challenged. I did make a motion to the court to SUPPORT Frieda's wishes. It was a gesture of support to my friend. I have NO (ZERO) court issues with Frieda's family in any way whatsoever. None. I have asked the guardians to be accountable and explain things that have not been followed according to the responsibilities a guardian. The responsibilities are not my query, but are rather state law and must be followed. These include periodic reviews of competency. I would hope that someone would do the same for me, as I have said many times, if I were in the same condition. Again, this is on Frieda's behalf. She is a human being and should not be denied her rights thereof because she is impaired from having two strokes. She is not a toy to be used as a pawn and manipulate the regrets of others.
I received this comment today from a reader named Kathie:
"Just want you to know you have not lost me as a reader but more importantly as a "prayer" for Frieda. I ask God to give her not only the strength but the tenaciousness to keep on plugging along. It is so gratifying to see that Frieda continues to make great progress. WE are rooting for Frieda. Kathie"
I may not know you, but thank you Kathie, for reading and for your words of support for Frieda. I cannot imagine feeling that I had to "ask" my family for my competency to be restored or that my family would oppose such a request. I do not understand, nor do I try to, the intrinsic issues that I have witnessed since Frieda's strokes. All I know for certain is that Wayne and I have given completely to ourselves to our friend for NO OTHER REASON except that we love her...and it has been the RIGHT thing to do. That cannot be denied at any level. FRIEDA'S RECOVERY has been our goal and we haven't lost focus for one moment since July.
Friendships are a rare commodity these days. Frieda and I will always be dedicated friends. I said on my post of March 9, we carried all of you who have continued to pray for Frieda "with us" on that outing. She was in good hands, she was safe, we had permission and again, I will make NO apology for doing a good deed.
(Frieda, we miss you. We love you and there is not a minute that goes by that you are not with us in our hearts.
We are so proud of you for all the hard work you have done and continue to do.) Though her voice doesn't speak to us in the same way, there are many who have seen her progress of late and I don't think "stunned" would be an improper word to use, at how well Frieda is doing.
I am just saddened that "saving public face" has detracted from Frieda's progress and wishes. God sees all of this. I am sure after answering all the many prayers He has been petitioned for, He couldn't be pleased with such unnecessary drama...at the expense of someone who has fought incredibly for HER LIFE.
If you don't have your own affairs in order, DO SO. Don't leave your lives to "guess work." We never know from one minute to the next what our lives will entail. Legally set up your wishes, let plenty of people know your wishes, make a living will, and take measures to maintain your dignity in your own lives. I have learned so much from this experience. I didn't "want" to know it, but you can bet, I know now that my life is my responsibility. Otherwise, it's a roll of the dice.
Keep the faith Frieda. Thumbs up. People can ban us from visits, but they cannot ban a friendship that will sustain for as long as we are both alive.
We love you very much...and have no regrets. We truly loved our day together...and as your note to me said, "We will be together as friends again." Yes, we will Frieda and we love you.
Annie and Wayne

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Well, it's gone again. The "hour" that I blogged about seemingly a few short months ago, has now vanished again. I received an email from my dear friend Geof Morris who knows exactly how I feel about "losing" this hour. He said the "time bandits" had shown up at 2am on Sunday morning and just TOOK my hour. Let me say that I do enjoy the longer days. I really do. But losing this hour is really important to me. It has ALWAYS messed with me physically, as my sleep pattern, as though it were even remotely close to "normal" anyway, gets fouled up. Then, I can't remember what clocks I have re-set and which ones I haven't. My body clock thinks it's AN HOUR earlier than it really is....the litany of complaints goes on and on. Eventually, I get used to it like everyone else, but the first week is a bear.
So, today, I was thinking just what all I'd get done if I had my hour back. Let's consider that these are things I probably didn't do when I HAD that extra hour, so I was both justifying and rationalizing my loss. I allowed myself to think a little deeply into what we all might do if we had just one more hour.
Perhaps we would have stayed a little longer with Frieda yesterday. Perhaps I would clean out my junk and get some things done I have been putting off. I was thinking "locally" first. Then I went on to think beyond my realms of possibility. I think I would do everything to get on every NEWS CHANNEL and DEMAND ACCOUNTABILITY OF POLITICIANS. I am SICK, SICK, SICK of hearing about prostitutes, OUR MONEY being spent on hookers, trash and filth. GOD has been taken out of our country. There is no sanctity in government anymore. It's all based on who can pay off whom, what kind of corruption can be covered up by a favor. I watch it go on right here in my own county, so why would I expect less from "big government?" It's a mess. A REAL MESS. One hour. That's all I'd want to hit the mass media and "tell it like it is" based on the opinion on just one average American.
I might take my one hour and spend it totally in prayer. I might do something else like love my animals AND pray, which I often do...for an hour. I might do something just for "me" which I seldom do.
In that one hour I just had to forfeit, I would like to talk to a friend for a while...like I did Flavel last Friday night. We spent a super fast 95 minutes and 54 seconds gabbing, as I said in a previous post. It went by in a flash!
I would like mostly to take that hour and spend it wisely. Oh sure, it will be autumn again soon enough and I'll be cheering because I got my hour back, but now that one is gone, I lament.
Bottom line here? Time flies. We don't live enough. We don't love enough. We don't DO enough for others. We have become so self-centered that it's frightening and we don't GIVE enough of ourselves to others. We don't DEMAND those we elect and PAY OUR MONEY TO to be stand up people. We don't hold them to to any standard of punishment when they DO get caught and they always do.
We have become a society that turns its collective head and no one has enough courage to take a position on much of anything, especially truth, values, commitment, keeping your word, doing the right thing and everything that falls into those categories of "being a good human being."
There are so many things that people who are dying or whose lives have been compromised in some way would surely spend just one more hour. I'm certain they would do many things differently. I have learned so much from diseases that I have HAD to learn about such as cancer and Parkinson's disease. My mother has been cancer free for some time now. Yet, before we could really breathe deeply with that, she was diagnosed with Parkinson's. So, we live with that as a family. My maternal grandmother died from Parkinson's. We've had too much exposure to that. I now know how devastating a stroke can be. My best friend has had two of them. She is in a facility. She is learning everything all over again and she is fighting as hard as anyone you'll ever see. I can only imagine what my mom would say about "an hour" or what Frieda would tell me now about something seemingly as simple as "an hour."
If I had ONE HOUR and could get the attention of so many people who are clearly not listening, I would beg them with all my heart to THINK. Just think. Think about the Golden Rule. Think about the things you do to others and what your motives are.
I would grab the attention of our nations leaders...ALL OF THEM and ask them WHAT ON EARTH DO THEY THINK THEY ARE DOING TO OUR COUNTRY??? I don't know about you, but I don't like my hard earned money being spent on prostitutes, lavish and unnecessary things that have absolutely nothing to do with the operations of our country.
One hour...doesn't seem like you could change much, but if we don't at least try, how can we know?
I still want my hour back...I hope it will be waiting for me come fall. I'll be anxious to have it back.
How about you?
Just in that hour...try not to be ungrateful when people do good things for others. It makes things so dark and gray and causes hurt and trouble.
Life is much too short to deal with misery and drama.
Till next time.
Annie

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March 1 was a great day for Wayne and me. After having battled this evil FLU thing for what seems to be an eternity, we headed out early to Hyde County. It's beautiful country up there and always a pleasure to visit. I was performing in "MUSIC ACROSS THE SOUND," which has always been a great time among wonderful folks. The folks in Hyde county are always so generous and kind to us. They put out a spread like you would not believe!!! There was enough food to feed an army...and to tell you the truth, some of us musician types are known to have hefty appetites, so we were more than thrilled with the selections! I wanted to start with desert because there were amazing cakes, pies, cookies and loads of yummy treats. I behaved and had dinner first. But I am a firm believer in the saying "Life is uncertain...eat dessert first!" My friends Gary and Kitty Mitchell and David Tweedie were there, my good buddy Gerald Hampton and his new treasure (thanks for accompanying me Gerald!) Marcy Brenner and Lou Castro and their brand new baby girl Charlotte, Jamie Tunnel, Earl Carrawan, Rodney Kemp and others were there. It's like a big family reunion of sorts. Also, our dear friends Martha and Gene Myers came over on their way back from Raleigh. The concert was held is the GORGEOUS Providence Methodist Church. It is known as the "Church that was moved by the Hand of God." Dick Tunnel (Jamie's dad) gave the audience the wonderful story how how the church came to its present location today.
The audience was so warm and welcoming. They are ALWAYS warm and welcoming, for that matter. We have done this same show at Mattamuskeet and I have loved it there each time, but there was just "something" about performing in such a beautiful historic church.
I am blessed with talented friends, warm neighbors in the counties north of here and good friends.
When we returned to Washington, we spent the night at my parent's place and we made a visit to Frieda. She was very happy to see us and we were happy to see her. I HAVE TO SHARE SOME NEWS! She looked right at me and SAID...MEANING VOCALIZED..."ANNE." She grinned like a Cheshire cat! It was like she was holding in this BIG surprise! Then she said "WAYNE" and just laughed! We were thrilled. I was in tears and we were high 5'ing all over the place. Today, was so wonderful to have time together with Frieda, Wayne, Martha and Gene. Frieda said several words and is working SO VERY HARD.
I am asking those of you who read the blog to PLEASE pass this good news. Frieda is working hard. She has great support from her caregivers and she is trying SO HARD.
On specifically THREE different occasions over the past week, I have been told that by folks asking about Frieda "that they HEARD" she is a VEGETABLE! She is a HUMAN BEING. She has problems to overcome, but she is certainly no vegetable and that is so hurtful. Bad news seems to travel and keep going and going. The good news is that FRIEDA can type, she can drive herself around in her own power chair, she can engage in conversation and all that is needed from visitors is patience and an extension of love and encouragement to Frieda as she continues to heal.
TIME is the answer and just know that Frieda is in this to WIN and in it for the long haul. Please continue to pray for Frieda
and just know that vegetables are for steaming and eating. We have actually joked about it though. Frieda said it was ok to let readers know that ASPARAGUS is her favorite vegetable, so if she must be labelled a "vegetable," she would like to be ASPARAGUS! SEE? That caustic sense of humor is still perfectly in place.
GO FRIEDA GO! She's going to do great things folks...so just keep praying for her energy and strength to push forward.
Thanks for stopping by and I appreciate all of you as readers.
Also, once again a HUGE THANK YOU to all of those who put together "MUSIC ACROSS THE SOUND!" I thoroughly enjoyed myself and singing for you was completely my pleasure.
Till next time,
Annie

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My posts since the first of the year have been geared toward gratitude, simplicity and leading a more productive life. This year, my close friends Martha and Gene Myers along with their sons Jason and Eric AND Grammies on both sides dedicated their Advent/Christmas season to Frieda Hudson. As anyone who reads my blog knows, Frieda, a dear and wonderful friend to MANY beyond the reaches of Pamlico County, suffered two debilitating strokes in July and September of 2007. Martha and Gene have been instrumental since the first stroke in giving support, love and advice on ways and means to enable Frieda to improve. Martha specializes in (my words) bringing out the absolute best in adults and children with severe and profound limitations. Some of these limitations are due to accident or injury, some are birth-related, some are from disease. Martha is one of the most inspirational, motivating people I know.
This is a family of "do-ers." They do not sit around and "speculate" on what they can accomplish. They set out on a project and it is as good as done. So, it really came as no surprise to me when Martha said they were going to do something special as a family this past Christmas. I had no idea just how special it would be! Eric, the younger son, is already at home waiting to leave for his service in the Peace Corps. He will be leaving for Uganda in February. Martha's mom from Pennsylvania and Gene's mom from Ohio had come down to Brunswick County early in the month, so they were there to start filling stockings with the beginning of Advent. Jason, the oldest lives in Seattle and he came home to join the fun during his Christmas vacation.
Each day, someone filled one of the stockings with something useful, something funny, or something that would encourage Frieda's skills. Each day, much love and many prayers from the Myers family went into GIVING...not RECEIVING. Yet, look at what they received as a family in reaching out to someone whose entire life has been changed by catastrophic illness.
On New Year's Day, Wayne and I met Martha and Gene at the facility. Armed with ALL the stockings and hearts full of love, we gathered with Frieda. When we first arrived, she had been sitting upright on a mat for about a half hour. Then, she was in a wheel chair, sitting just fine unassisted with a TENS unit for a while. (These are electrodes used to stimulate muscles and nerves.) After that, we went back to Frieda's room. Still sitting in the wheel chair, Frieda opened one stocking at a time. She was grinning from ear to ear with all her "haul!" The Myers family even made sure the STOCKINGS were gifts as well! They were all great feeling socks, funny socks, nice thick socks...you name it...Frieda now has a pair of socks for it!
I'm still in awe that so many folks have no idea just how much Frieda is improving. Though she cannot "speak" with words, she is spelling, reading and able to communicate much better than you would think. She can still cut you in half with those eyes! Frieda spelled some things for Martha and Gene and we had some very good laughs. Frieda loves it when she can get a good "crack" in on me when we're there.
Also, another dear friend of Frieda's from New Jersey (Joyce Allen) sent $50 to purchase "whatever Frieda wants." I told Frieda about it and she just shook her head. She couldn't believe it. I named over several items and she kept shaking her head "no." Long story short...I made my way to the sentence, "HEY! Do you want me to get as much as I can on the 4 for $20 sale at Blockbuster?" WOW! A resounding YES was evident...so, that's what I did. Frieda loves movies. That is probably the thing I miss most are our weekends together watching MOVIES! We used to say we needed to start a 12 step program for folks who buy too many DVDS and then we'd laugh like crazy. So, the movies are a hit.
Brenda Campbell of Kure Beach, NC and Joyce Allen also made Christmas ornaments, Joyce did original paintings for Frieda and other demonstrations of love and support for her.
The folks around Oriental and Pamlico County have NO idea just how many people outside this area have prayed for Frieda, supported her, loved her and cheered her on to wellness...and continue to even to this day! Actions, words, prayers...all those things go on each and every day FOR FRIEDA. It is truly amazing.
I thought those of you who read my blog when I write about Frieda should know how much bigger than "Pamlico county" this love and healing have been. There are so many caring people out there who continue to love and pray. They don't give up just because so much time has passed. Severe strokes take time to heal. Life for Frieda is not exactly like it was before...but FRIEDA IS STILL HERE! Frieda has taught me more about courage
and strength through her experiences than I can find the words to express. No matter what anyone has said regarding her condition, when she will improve or how much...Frieda keeps pressing forward...even when it's hard...even when it's not fun. She knows that it's going to require considerable hard work on her part from here on out and when you watch Frieda, it is so inspiring. You know right away she's up to the task. She knows ALL the people who love her, pray for her daily and who are cheering her on in her fight to recover. For me, it's an amazing thing to watch. In situations like this, when everyone is operating from a place of SELFLESSNESS, everyone wins! SELF-LESS-NESS---a big word to spell out...even harder to achieve.
Thanks also to Donna Mooneyham, Renee Schram and all of the folks down in the Brunswick country area who have offered prayer, love, incredible advice and loads of information and items to HELP Frieda improve. I can't tell you how much it means to Wayne and me...and on behalf of Frieda, I can assure you, she is both grateful and totally stunned that there are so many people who truly want to see her get well.
God bless each and every one of you. You are all such an inspiration. I appreciate all the support and information you have given ME as well on this journey to stick closely by my friend on her fight to wellness. We will all high-5 each other and give a great big FRIEDA THUMBS UP one of these days when she makes a spectacle of the doctors who gave up on her too soon!
I look TOTALLY forward to that day too! RIGHT FRIEDA??? Keep getting better my friend! You're my hero!
Martha, Gene, Brenda, Joyce, Donna and to ALL the others who have sent prayer, inspiration, emails, cards, pictures...please know your FAITH in Frieda is carrying her as well. There is no tangible item that could ever mean more than FAITH that a person can overcome adversity. I'm watching that happen right before my very eyes.
Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU.
Love to each of you from Annie, Wayne and Frieda.

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I haven't been giving as many "Frieda updates" for many reasons...too many rumors flying, too much negative chatter, etc. I elected to continue doing what I've been doing...which is praying for Frieda, helping Frieda, loving Frieda and reminding her constantly just how much she is loved and missed by so many.
We have had several good visits. I was so overwhelmed with our Thanksgiving visit, that I couldn't even post about it. It was a grand day, it was beautiful outside, so we actually went outside and relished things we all take for granted like FRESH AIR, WARM SUNSHINE, THE BLAZE OF A BIG RED TREE in all it's autumn glory, etc. I realized that Frieda is so communicative with her face, hands, eyes, shoulders, etc. that NOT ONE TIME did I have to even look at her leg to check for "yes" or "no" indications.
Another visit, I gave her a haircut. I'm certainly no cosmetologist, but it was a "have to" situation, so after the hair cut, I washed Frieda's hair. The staff was attentive and got the things that were needed to give her a wonderful, warm, relaxing wash. That visit we stayed for quite a long time. Steve and Jodie DeVera came and visited. Wayne and I left for a while to let them visit with Frieda, as they had not seen her since she was at Craven. They came to Craven, but did not get to see her, so they stayed in the waiting room, praying and offering support from that place. I was SO thrilled that they got to spend time with their dear friend.
After a trip to Walgreens to get some "fun stuff' for Frieda, and a couple of errands, we returned and continued a our visit. Frieda was in high spirits. Geordie was with us, as he has been all of our visits of late. Frieda LOVES rubbing him with her foot and having him get where she can rub him with her hand.
That's kind of a "reader's digest" version of how things have been of late and we couldn't be happier.
Tonight was truly remarkable. When we arrived, the speech therapist who has worked with Frieda at Pitt was there. He was working on having Frieda spell words. When we arrived, he had the letter board and Frieda held a pen. Jeff asked "who is that?" and pointed at me. The pen moved to the "A," then "N," then "N" and by then I was in tears, thanking God and totally amazed.
Frieda spelled out Wayne, Geordie, Oriental, when Jeff asked questions about who they are, where she lived, etc. Jeff asked her what she liked to do for fun and something about Wayne and she spelled out "G-O-L-F!" GOLF! Next, Jeff asked her about her brother and she took the pen and pointed to an "S." Then she began "S-A-N-D-Y." Sandy. I asked her what "his son's name is" and that was the ONLY way it was said..."what is his son's name?" She pointed without hesitation "H-A-N-K." Hank. It was amazing. Jeff asked her to spell her daughter's names and she did the same thing "N-A-N-C-Y" and "J-E-S-S-I-C-A." She was so pleased with herself! Wayne and I were just completely thrilled, overwhelmed and humbled, When asked "Where she would like to be right now" she looked at Wayne and me and spelled "P-O-R-C-H." I was so stunned that words even escape me now. She wanted to be on our porch...and God knows I would give anything if you were sitting right out there with us right now Frieda. Another question Jeff asked was "what do you like to do with Anne?" She spelled "T-A-L-K" We all laughed and she grinned from ear to ear!
After Jeff finished their session, he left to do his paperwork and checked back in later. We talked, visited, held hands, and updated on Frieda on things in our world. She was very engaged and laughed as we share memories, things she had teased me about in the past, etc. It was wonderful. We had been told that cell phones didn't ring in the facility, so I never even take mine inside. Wayne had his phone on his side and out of the clear blue IT RANG!!! It was Sandy Winfrey on the phone...so we put the phone up to Frieda's ear and Sandy got to have a great conversation with his sister! He teased her, he talked to her, he told her he loved her and she was completely engaged. She was over the moon to get to talk on the phone. It got emotional for each of them at points and rightfully so. She was so happy to be talking on the phone to Sandy and it felt normal to her. It was so evident that she was totally loving it, yet a reminder of "how things are." That said, Wayne and I also watched courage and strength gather in Frieda. She knows fully what is ahead and she is totally prepared for every step of it. Although Sandy of course, couldn't "see" it through the phone, she was giving him a thumb's up MANY times as they talked. I like to think that God gave Frieda and Sandy a little miracle in allowing that phone to ring in that room tonight.
I'm still so overwhelmed with all I saw tonight and all I have seen of late, it's very emotional for me to type this all out. Just know that your prayers ARE WORKING. Just know that FRIEDA REMEMBERS and she knows what's ahead, yet she remembers all that she once did and that is what she is determined to get back to. Please continue to have faith in Frieda. Please continue to PRAY for her and love her. She needs to see her friends. She needs to know that all of you out there haven't given up on her.
These things take time. It's emotionally so hard on everyone involved, but the focus needs to remain on helping Frieda. We worked on her hands and shoulders tonight. She LOVED it. She pointed to the word "YES" when I asked if it felt good to move her body. I massaged her feet while she and Wayne simply held hands. She opened her hand to him and motioned for him to take it. It was a priceless time to watch two friends simply loving one another. No words were necessary...and I have learned through this that there are MANY times that words are basically worthless. It's the ACTIONS that carry the most impact.
With that, I will close and just let all these last visits sink in more. It's really hard to fathom at times, yet, I have expected NOTHING else of Frieda Hudson during all of this. Those who know her well have expressed to me that they have felt the exact same way.
You just wait! She'll be back! She knows she lives on BROAD STREET and spelled that out "BROAD." Seeing that let's me know with complete certainty that she doesn't intend to stay in a nursing facility for one second longer than in necessary for her healing and rehabilitation.
Thank you God for continuing to show us all YOUR power and that indeed you do have a plan for Frieda that is far greater than we can even imagine.
Thank you Frieda for continuing to show the world that you're not a quitter.
I'll post another update again in the next few days. Sorry it's been so long...it's just been so emotional and I have wanted to keep our visits and our closeness between us...but I realized tonight that ALL of you who have continued to pray for and support Frieda NEED to know what wonderful things she is doing. Sandy and I talked after we left and he and Karen want you all to know how much your love and support and BELIEF in Frieda's recovery mean to them as well.
KEEP ON KEEPIN' ON FRIEDA!! YOU ARE AMAZING!

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It's Sunday evening and it has been a busy weekend. So, here we go on the update!
The "For What It's Worth Frieda Fan's" sale was a great success! Thank you ALL so much for your visits, donations, purchases and kind spirits. Everyone was so upbeat, involved and I am so glad that we had the event. It seemed to mean so much to everyone to participate and "DO SOMETHING" for Frieda. As I said before, Frieda will just be sorry she missed it!
So many folks have emailed to ask "what can I do" and this was a perfect way as a community to get together, and everyone could participate. Thank you so much.
Today, Candy Bohmert and I went up to visit. When we got there, Frieda was dressed and watching TV. After a few minutes of getting a few things in order for Frieda, we set about a good visit. We joked, laughed, and enjoyed our afternoon together. She was upbeat and quite ready to take a pot shot at me when the opportunity presented itself.
Candy and I tag teamed Frieda with lots of lotion and "girly" stuff. She absolutely LOVED it! She closed her eyes and just let us get rid of that hospital dry skin. I worked on her right hand for a long time until her fingers and hand were supple enough to get her splint on. The splint helps to keep her fingers and thumb on her right hand outstretched so they don't get stiff. Once we got the splint on, she said "THAT FEELS BETTER!"
A great revelation today was hearing Frieda READ! We were looking at all the "toys" you get when you're getting therapy of any kind. We were joking because I have the same collection at home from my hip replacement. I was still working on Frieda's hand and fingers and Candy handed a bag to her. It contained something that looked akin to a riding crop. I asked Frieda what she was going to do with it, Candy was offering suggestions and they were plotting on how she could pop my head if I hurt her hand.
I couldn't believe my ears when she began reading "LEG LIFT RIGID," to which I replied "WHAT DID YOU SAY??" Frieda read it again and I started to laugh. I asked again what she was doing. In a totally Frieda response, she said, "I CAN READ." I asked Candy to pass over a container of silly putty and asked Frieda to read the lid for me and she did. Candy and I were very excited to say the least. When I asked her when she started reading she said "I don't know...I've been reading." That was enough for me.
I know I sound repetitive, but each day something new and wonderful occurs and I am so thankful and so grateful for every little action. Candy is thrilled with the improvement she sees each time she visits. It was so good to have a "girls" day together, to pamper and spoil Frieda and to just be together as friends. It's almost as though the hospital aspect of things just disappears during those times. Things feel normal and I totally believe that in itself is so helpful and HEALTHFUL for Frieda in her recovery process.
She was talking a little bit off the topic about Sam Elliott (the actor) today. Frieda has always thought he was just something else again...and when the name "Sam" came up in conversation, I just had to laugh when Frieda kept saying "Sam Elliott." I guess Sam Elliott is as good to talk about as anything!
Frieda had on HER comfy clothes and looked great in her lounging flannels and a Pamlico News shirt.
Each day is a great day and that's what is wonderful.
I want to thank each and every person who participated in any way at the sale. There are so many that I'll have to do a post listing names and thank you's. It was a beautiful exchange of love and support and all of us there appreciated your help so much. I will do a "thank you post" this week. For now, I felt that this post needed to be about Frieda.
Here's hoping you're all having a happy and safe last hurrah of summer. Hard to believe, but tomorrow is Labor Day! Enjoy the time off!
And for me, I'll give a great big Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh......AUTUMN is upon us! That pleases me immensely!
Thanks for reading and I'll see you soon!

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I am in the ICU waiting area of Pitt Memorial Hospital in Greenville, NC.
I have been with Frieda twice now. Once was with Nancy (Young Nancy, as I call her) and Jess, Frieda's youngest daughter.
Frieda looks peaceful and comfortable. She looks so, so much better. The doctors are slowly reducing her sedation which is a good thing.
Frieda responded immediately to my voice. I was stunned. When I spoke and said "Frieda, it's me." She started to raise her left arm and squirm. She opened her eyes for me and though there was no "focus," that was enough.
We were told she could have music in her room. I was pondering that on the drive up. I was thinking about how much Frieda loves music, how music we talk about music and how many trivia nights she has won at M&M's during the winter months in Oriental. Frieda will be pleased to have her TUNES! I am going to bring my iPod boom box type thingy so we can line her up with what she truly loves.
On many occasions, Frieda and I would have our Senior moments and those are hysterical. We each knew what song we were thinking of, but not then we'd "hum a few bars" then start laughing when we both knew the song, but couldn't remember the title. In a couple of hours, of course, the title would come to us. If Frieda had already gone home, my phone would ring or hers would ring NO MATTER WHAT TIME....and whoever remembered first, blurted it out.
We have a wonderful "competetive spirit." NEVER have we competed "against" one another. We complement each other and we give each other a healthy level of support. Even shooting skeet, shooting pool, guessing song titles, talking about the 4.5 million subjects we talk about, Frieda and I have such a beautiful relationship.
I know she knows I love her. She's not the mushy type. I am. She's not the huggy type. I am. Though I never hold anything in reserve on how I "feel," I knew Frieda just isn't the mushy type, so I just love her so much in my heart and sneak in an "I LOVE YOU" or a hug every chance I get.
We love our girls together. We pity people who have LOADS of children together and just laugh and laugh! We are women in the middle points of our lives who are loving every second of it. Our kids have made us proud and continue to, but we are loving our independence as "women." We've each seen a lot in life and we each have had similar experiencess. That's our foundation and our love is our constant. It's our True North and I can honestly say, I could never, ever have a better, more trusted friend than Frieda Hudson. Holding her hand a few minutes ago gave ME comfort. Isn't that typical? There she is a few doors down the hall in an ICU unit...giving me comfort, reminding me with a raise of her hand, telling me she's here.
I'm here too Frieda. I'll be here now and for the long haul. I love you and I feel better just being near you.

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First of all I would like to report that Frieda Hudson has been safely transported to Pitt Memorial Hospital in Greenville. As soon as she arrived an entirely different course of treatment began and according to Nancy Hudson, Frieda's oldest daughter, she looks incredibly better already. Thank God for that. There were procedures that were done last night that Frieda came through like a trooper, as those of us who know her knew she would. I know she is in very capable hands now and that offers some degree of peace.
There are so many feelings that go through your mind, heart, body and soul in a time like this. I feel angry, I feel, scared, I feel alone, I feel empty, I want to cry, but can't. I want to scream, but don't even know how to do that right now. So I continue to pray.
There have been so many calls, emails and contacts regarding Frieda and her improvement. I will continue to ask for you, as my friends, to lift my friend Frieda up in prayer for her full recovery. You know, I've discovered something during this. I've typed "FRIEDA" so many times, yet each time I find (and I don't believe it's an accident or a typo happening) I am typing the word "FRIEND" first each time. My fingers just seem to go there. And our friendship is THAT easy. Completely effortless would be a better term.
I miss her this morning. I had my coffee, quietly. No laughing, no discussion of what "Murder and Mayhem" shows were on TV last night. We're all into that FBI whodunit stuff. We're also in the TV show "DEADLIEST CATCH" and the new show "ICE ROAD TRUCKERS!" Frieda was saying on Thursday night that she was really loving that show a lot. We both were laughing at what big chickens we are and that we would NEVER, EVER get on a frozen lake and drive across it on a big rig! HAHAH! We have this song we sing by Heywood Banks, a comedian we love that simply counts the number of wheels on a "big rig" and each time we would have a blow out on the horse trailer when we were going to get the donkeys, we'd count less wheels than before. Does this sound like the sound, intelligent conversation of a 45 year old woman and a 51 year old woman? YOU BET IT DOES!! AND THAT IS "ANNE AND FRIEDA!" If we don't do anything else, we find something to LAUGH about!! And we will be laughing together and singing the BIG RIG song just as soon as we possibly can!
There's 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12,13,14,15,16,17,18 WHEELS ON BIG RIG!! Now let's sing in 2's! HA! I LOVE YOU FRIEDA HUDSON!! KEEP PUSHING AHEAD MY DEAR FRIEND!! WE'RE RIGHT BESIDE YOU!!!

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