TESTING! 1,2,3...TESTING!!! Is This "Only" a Test?

On my drive home today, my mind was racing with many thoughts. The common denominator of those thoughts is "why?"
Why do bad things happen to good people? Why do people who have ill-will seem to skate through life problem-free? Why am I asking unfair questions? I kept hearing Forrest Gump saying "We go together like peas and carrots." That made me laugh and that was good.
Since Friday, I have posted blogs to keep everyone informed of Frieda's progress. This blog, I feel compelled to write for myself.
I feel as though I have "kept the line busy" to God since Wayne and I got a call from Young Nancy on Friday. Many others are holding Frieda up in prayer as well.
As I drove, I had to talk to God once again with a few questions of my own. Is this summer a test of my faith? Does God see and know all that is going on with my life? Am I being selfish to even ask? Aside from Wayne's accident, my best friend lies fighting for her very life. It's been a tough summer where many things I do not understand with regard to "people in general" are happening. Those things will be okay, because I know truth prevails in every situation. As I have felt my faith being tested this summer, Frieda has been right there beside Wayne and me. She has been a pillar of strength to us both, reminding us that good always wins and that those with contempt in their hearts merely continue to "live" somehow with contempt in their hearts no matter what. In other words, there are those who just can't be happy no matter what. Frieda Hudson is NOT one of those people.
When Wayne had his accident, there was Frieda...steady, strong and humorous. She started a daily count...well, it's Day number 2, Anne. Whew. We are always able to laugh our way through things as they come about. Frieda is just "always around." And this isn't funny. It's not funny at all. I cannot find much to smile about over the last few days. I have found myself doing things I'd never believe...begging God, making deals with God, asking God if He hears our prayers, etc. Those are normal responses, I suppose. I won't beat myself up too badly. I think anyone in a situation that cannot be understood or made sense of goes through all of these questions and more.
We all ask God to do things "now." Have I insulted my Creator by inferring that there is a "God on Demand?" I am understanding that life does not operate on "Anne's terms." Perhaps my faith is being tested with all the events of "the summer of 2007." And you know what? That's ok. I know nothing will shake it. It might rattle a bit, it might wobble, but it will not fall.
I have learned so much from Frieda Hudson and now is my time to put those things I have learned into application. Frieda ALWAYS states exactly how she feels. She can do that in many ways, but she does get her point across. I will be better at that.
I know that friendships are a rare and precious commodity. Having someone to call "friend" is vitally important. Going through life without a true friend is a sad thing indeed. If I can be half the friend to Frieda that she is to me, I will be "doing something."
Life throws curves and things we think are 'bad" take on a different perspective entirely. There will always be things to deal with that we would rather not, people who hurt us for ill-intentioned reasons and many days we'd rather just stay in bed. Then, there are the days when the true meaning of friendship is called forward. We have to reach beyond ourselves and give every single ounce of energy that we can to someone we love. That's where we find out what we are truly made of. We find out the meaning of words like "character, integrity, "stick-to-it-iveness." We learn the real meaning of "never giving up."
So if this is a test, I'm ready. My faith will not be shaken. My heart can ache, it can even break, but my faith with always be
the underlying strength that will get me through no matter what lies ahead.
So, there. This blog is for "me." I am not even sure it makes sense to anyone else...it does to me. I will make it through these trials and I will be a stronger person for it. I just miss my friend SO much. I miss just talking to her and I hate knowing that someone who is always happy to hear from me and is "never too busy for me" can't be reached by a phone call.
We have so much to do together yet Frieda! We have big plans. We have so much ahead.
I will be strong for you Frieda Hudson... and can only hope I can be all the things you have ever been to me. I love you. I'm in this for the duration, no matter what lies ahead of us.
I hope we can look at Frieda's example of "what a friend is" and follow accordingly. It's no small feat, but I'll never stop trying. My life is so enriched by her presence in it.

|